I remember / je me souviens
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For those limbic bursts of nostalgia, invented by Proust, miniaturized by Nicholson Baker, and freeze-dried by Joe Brainard in his I remember and by Georges Perec in his Je me souviens.

But there are no fractions, the world is an integer
Like us, and like us it can neither stand wholly apart nor disappear.
When one is young it seems like a very strange and safe place,
But now that I have changed it feels merely odd, cold
And full of interest.
          --John Ashbery, "A Wave"

Sometimes I sense that to put real confidence in my memory I have to get to the end of all rememberings. That seems to say that I forego remembering. And now that strikes me as an accurate description of what it is to have confidence in one's memory.
          --Stanley Cavell, The Claim of Reason


Tuesday, September 17, 2002
I remember my father and me going to the airport with my mother when she had to fly down to Washington -- maybe to argue before the SEC? This was before my sister was born, so I was younger five or younger. My father had me hold the door open for a kindly looking elderly gentleman just arriving; my father said hello to him and he smiled back and gave me a nice smile too. I thought I was supposed to know him, but didn't (unlike the Fuller Brush man!). Then, after we separated, my father told me he was Cardinal Spellman, though I didn't know what that meant either. I don't remember this, but apparently he offered his ring to kiss. But obviously I didn't know what the gesture meant, and didn't notice it. I think this was the first I heard of cardinals, though later I got interested in Church hierarchy, just like nuclear weapons hierarchy and pigeon pecking order. My mother must have left on a Monday or Tuesday -- on Friday we rented a car and drove down to Washington to meet her. My father took me to the White House: I remember being excited about going, and I remember seeing a man walking on the lawn under a portico. I told me father I thought that was President Kennedy, and he indulged me. So I already knew and admired Kennedy, which makes it hard for me to think I was really five or younger. Maybe my sister was staying with our grandparents.


posted by william 1:31 PM
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